Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.

Dear America,

I am going to be the first to suggest the next momentus step for Christianity in America. I am following in the steps of the Christian Right in it's (hopefully) soon bill to insure that the unnecessary rights of the animalistic homosexual are illegalled in all fifty (plus the frequently visited by ungodly heathen teenagers United States Territories) States of America, Dwight D. Eisenhower who so inteligently realized the need for the Pledge of Alliegance to have the line "under god" because any nation that isn't Christian is worth living in, and Michael Powell who choose that Praise God is allowable but the unspeakable G.D. that the heathen uses to further push back the Christian with his New Speak would be illegal on the radio.

I propose that we garnish support for a new American Flag that is far more Patriotic and will drive terror into the heathen (muslim) terrorists. The new flag will have thirteen stripes for the thirteen original colonies that were founded by fleeing laborious Christians from tyranical ungodly european nations. The red on the stripes symbolism will be changed to represent the Blood of Jesus Christ who died on the cross for everyone's sins that believes in him, isn't a messianic jew, catholic, homosexual, excessive sinner, or non-talk radio drug addicts (may they all be damned to the 7th layer of hell cubicle six where you must sit with Jean-Paul Sartre forever... for-ev-er... think about it before you choose to gay-out, coke out, or synogogue out).

The white stripes will be disallowed as a band, because the White Stripes on the United Christian American States... oops did I say that... what I meant to say was that the Christian's in America deserve just as many rights as the other influences on our America. What was I discussing again? Oh yes, the new White Stripes would stand for the Purity of Jesus Christ because he has given so much to America, namely everything it's ever recieved. Then because America is so charitable we can keep the band The White Stripes going on Fox's Word record label, of course we'd ditch the brother sister act and replace it with one of our faithful congregates.

Now the blue field would stand for the Water that Jesus walked on. That's simple enough, but for non-Christians, I will take the courtesy of explaining it. Jesus is the man who could save your soul if you turn to Jesus, unless you've ever been gay or jewish... or catholic for that matter or any other inexcusable sin that I may have forgotten.

Forgive me, Lord, for forgetting the sins that send people to eternal damnation. When I left the seminary I could have recalled them immediately. I apologize for this and hope that you will not send me to hell for my memory. Amen.

The big part of my plan involves the removal of the heinous stars that sadly are no longer seen by the youth as pin holes into Heaven, but take the stupid words of copernicus as truth. Not that we're anti-science. We believe that the science of intelligent design be taught in all schools, hopefully one day as a the primary core information in education. Back to the big deal. The stars will be replaced by forty-eight crosses each of different heights depending on the amount of tithes recieved by each state. The two heathen states California and Massachusets, for their love incorrect embrace of the satanic homosexual will not be recieving their crosses. They will be eviscerated by the pages of all the future history books for their heresy.

I also hope that we can also get a bill promoting that the only correct family is the nuclear family. Since nearly all adopted children are from abhorrid ungodly heathen countries, they definately should not be taken into our land. Adopted children are the worst kind of those America destroying immigrants. They come to destroy this land.  Families are for the making of Christian children. So any woman who cannot bear children will be labelled as a gay man. Also any woman who ruins her reproductive organs by having an abortion will be labelled a gay man since that is what she has made herself. All gay men will be shot at a huge festival every year. Let's choose Easter, since numbers are dwindling for Easter Attendance. I'm sorry this is a tangent of love for Jesus Christ. I hope you can in your mercy excuse it, dear enlightened reader.

I would like to thank the over whelming Christian Support by all Americans for their prayers coming to me to allow me to release this idea into the hearts and minds of our people.

Thank you,
Reverend Thomas Hardy Mann of North Fort Worth Community Church of The Sacred Jesus and his Immortal Soul that Allows All of Us (Non-Homosexual) To Enter The Immortal Heaven of The Anglo Saxon (Which Now Allows Most Negroes In)